Dealing with Cyber Bullying

by Craig Gaska, PhD What can we do as parents to ensure that our children are protected from the onslaught of cyber bullying and what should parents do if their child is a victim of this new kind of intimidation? A 2005 study by Hinduja and Patchin found that 41.5% of respondents who were cyber bullied did not tell anyone.  Only 11.3% told a parent, and only 3% told a teacher or other adult.  Another study (Kowalski, et al., 2005) found that 18% of students in grades 6 through 8 had been cyber bullied at least once in the last couple of months and 6% said it happened to them two or more times.  Your child need not suffer alone. As the adage says, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”  It is important to develop a plan with your child should s/he become a victim of cyber bullying.  You may want to monitor Internet and cell phone activity, but remember to let your child know that you will be doing this and that it is for his or her own protection.  By doing so you will also ensure that you have evidence should your child become victimized. A degree of privacy must be respected; be clear that you will not conduct any monitoring activity behind the child’s back.  Parents must do everything possible to keep an open dialog.  A big problem in dealing with bullying, as the statistics above indicate, is that the victims often do not come forward.  Parents need to ensure that their children understand; first and foremost, that they are interested in helping them solve the problem.  Your purpose is not to seek punishment for the guilty.  Most of all, victims just want the problem solved.  Secondly, rehearse a variety of scenarios with your child so s/he will become comfortable with how s/he will approach the problem and the vocabulary s/he will use.  Practice what you plan to say as well so your child knows what to expect from you when he or she has a cyber bully problem.  If your child is a victim of cyber bullying, do not hesitate to contact the local authorities for assistance.  They are in the best position to help you stop bullying in its tracks. Many states offer resources relating to cyber bullying. Living in Illinois, I am most familiar with the ones offered by the State of Illinois Board of Education. I encourage you to visit:  http://www.isbe.net/curriculum/html/is_resources.htm and http://www.isbe.net/curriculum/html/internet_safety.htm for more information.  Visit these sites with your child and decide on the steps that you will take together in the event that cyber bullying occurs.  By doing so, you will be teaching him or her a valuable lesson. Other resources on the subject include: The New York Times' Well: Web of Popularity, Achieved by Bullying Inside the bullied brain Cyberbullying: How to prevent and stop it The Cyberbullying Research Center Craig Gaska, PhD, has presented Saturday Parent Seminars for the Center for Talent Development.  Craig earned his Bachelor's degree in elementary education, holds a Master's and Educational Specialist’s degrees in Educational Administration as well as a Doctorate in Curriculum and Instruction.  He was an elementary teacher for 10 years and an administrator for 23 years.  He is currently an adjunct professor at Aurora University and teaches in the Masters of Arts with Teaching Certification program. Craig offers consulting services, workshops, presentations, and keynote addresses. He is available to speak to parent groups and to students to share anti-bullying strategies that work.  Contact information can be obtained through his web site at www.GaskaConsulting.com.